You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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