I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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