Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
