Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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