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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.

  Fav 10 3077 966

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial

  Fav 11 927 4054

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients

  Fav 4 851 3059

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.

  Fav 20 4974 1191

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are

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