she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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