Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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