The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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