Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
