So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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