The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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