This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
