oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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