I've blown a few things in my day
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
