every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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