dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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