We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i believe in u and ur pee
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