tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
