I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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