just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
