How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
