Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
