Its about making memories worth repressing
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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