Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
