dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
