Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize