We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
