he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
