all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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