My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize