Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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