Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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