And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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