Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Too much gin, very little bucket
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
