I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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