Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I want to be your penis for a week.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Enjoy the penises
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
