Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
