whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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