You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
