What did we do last night that was yellow?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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