I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
