Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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