Got a toothbrush?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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