I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
