census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize