Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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