you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
