Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
