I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
