He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
