we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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