if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
