My first STD was from a foam party
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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