i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
