But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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