Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
