Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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