There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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