Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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